Only In the Here and Now

As I rounded the bend and glanced out my rearview mirror, I saw the most amazing and beautiful sight. The sun was coming up just over the horizon. The red glare was so bright it caused me to think it was a red traffic light. Once my mind caught up with itself and I realized it was the sun coming up from behind me, I quickly grabbed my phone’s camera to capture this moment in time. When I raised my camera up to catch the view, only a bright white light shone back at me. Lowering the camera, I checked the rearview mirror again. Yes, the red globe still hung over the morning sky, yet only white light could be captured on camera.

I thought to myself, “Ok God, I get it. It’s only for here and now”. That got me thinking about what I recall my mom saying for years, “It doesn’t come to stay, it comes to pass.” My next thought was, thank goodness. You see, at the moment I saw the sun blazing in the mirror, I was thinking about my life and the challenges I am currently facing. At times there seems to be no end in sight. The sun reminded me, these challenges, the ones I am presently working through, they are only for the here and now. As I learn to navigate the choices before me and make healthy decisions, I will pass through these challenges and onto the next. Not all challenges are difficult. Some have wonderful, motivational outcomes.

I spent several decades of my life raising children. I used to believe I’d always have them in my daily life. This has proven to be a young mother’s perspective. Adult life, mine and theirs, has shown itself to be a different reality. As I look back on what are now my personal golden years, I recall with gratefulness and joy that my kids were only young once, I raised them in the here and now.  I am looking down the path of the second half of my life now, and I am learning how to be an independent person, separate from a mother or a spouse. I have new challenges to face, new decisions to make. This time, this here and now, is filled with sun drops of red and gold, just as my earlier years.

God was, is, and will forever be, so says He. But, interestingly enough, He is still very much only in the here and now. Take peace for instance, the peace that I experience from a relationship with him can only be felt in the here and now. The grace that I receive for the times I make choices that grieve him, and me, is available to me in that moment. Not before, only in that moment’s here and now. The friendships that I enjoy with others, although some longstanding, are enjoyed in the here and now. And the deep intimacy I experience with my mate is only experienced in the here and now as well.

I’ve come to realize this morning, in the picturesque beauty of the red rising sun, some of God’s best gifts are only available in the here and now. Present beauty, present struggle, present challenge, present grace and peace, present intimacy. The present, my here and now, that’s my gift.