Only In the Here and Now

As I rounded the bend and glanced out my rearview mirror, I saw the most amazing and beautiful sight. The sun was coming up just over the horizon. The red glare was so bright it caused me to think it was a red traffic light. Once my mind caught up with itself and I realized it was the sun coming up from behind me, I quickly grabbed my phone’s camera to capture this moment in time. When I raised my camera up to catch the view, only a bright white light shone back at me. Lowering the camera, I checked the rearview mirror again. Yes, the red globe still hung over the morning sky, yet only white light could be captured on camera.

I thought to myself, “Ok God, I get it. It’s only for here and now”. That got me thinking about what I recall my mom saying for years, “It doesn’t come to stay, it comes to pass.” My next thought was, thank goodness. You see, at the moment I saw the sun blazing in the mirror, I was thinking about my life and the challenges I am currently facing. At times there seems to be no end in sight. The sun reminded me, these challenges, the ones I am presently working through, they are only for the here and now. As I learn to navigate the choices before me and make healthy decisions, I will pass through these challenges and onto the next. Not all challenges are difficult. Some have wonderful, motivational outcomes.

I spent several decades of my life raising children. I used to believe I’d always have them in my daily life. This has proven to be a young mother’s perspective. Adult life, mine and theirs, has shown itself to be a different reality. As I look back on what are now my personal golden years, I recall with gratefulness and joy that my kids were only young once, I raised them in the here and now.  I am looking down the path of the second half of my life now, and I am learning how to be an independent person, separate from a mother or a spouse. I have new challenges to face, new decisions to make. This time, this here and now, is filled with sun drops of red and gold, just as my earlier years.

God was, is, and will forever be, so says He. But, interestingly enough, He is still very much only in the here and now. Take peace for instance, the peace that I experience from a relationship with him can only be felt in the here and now. The grace that I receive for the times I make choices that grieve him, and me, is available to me in that moment. Not before, only in that moment’s here and now. The friendships that I enjoy with others, although some longstanding, are enjoyed in the here and now. And the deep intimacy I experience with my mate is only experienced in the here and now as well.

I’ve come to realize this morning, in the picturesque beauty of the red rising sun, some of God’s best gifts are only available in the here and now. Present beauty, present struggle, present challenge, present grace and peace, present intimacy. The present, my here and now, that’s my gift.

Beauty In the Little Things

Today was a wonderful morning. Without trying, I happened to notice many little things. Perhaps the challenge for us is in recognizing that we notice them.

As I left my house on the way to work, I noticed a nip in the air, so I put my windows down a bit. Not too much so as to mess up my hair, but just enough that I caught the breeze through all four windows. I enjoyed the ride so much that I didn’t even turn on the radio. Traffic outside my subdivision was a bit backed up so I flipped it on to check the commute report, but had just missed it. So I turned it back off. It’s 7 am in September and 71°.  As I neared the turn street to get to my office, I was stopped at the red light to wait on the green arrow. As most of us do, I looked around at the other travelers who were waiting with me. I noticed the woman to my right who was checking her phone and out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement in her back seat. Upon a closer look I realized there was a toddler in her car seat beebopping about and wiggling around. Our eyes met and she smiled at me behind her binky. As soon as I smiled back she put her little hand up in the air and waved at me. With pleasant surprise, I waved back. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a toddler in my home now that my kids are grown. I forgot how innocent and adventurous they can be. She waved and smiled, I waved and smiled back. We went back and forth about five times before the light turned green. I left that stop light beaming with happiness and I immediately thought, “How wonderful it is to notice the little things”.

Shoes make the outfit they say in the fashion industry. Shoes are little.  Children are the future they say in the world. Children are little. The conjunction “and” is a little world but is so inclusive that it has the capacity to bring together people, nations and universes.  But, that’s getting a bit big for this blog. I just wanted to challenge you to look around when you drive home today.  Look at little things and ponder about what they are connected to. What big things can come from the little things in our life?

Another thought…without the little things there would probably be no big things. I believe hope and happiness are found in the little things. Here’s to you little girl in the backseat, thank you for waving at me today. Thank you for your little smile that made such a big impact on my day.

INDEPENDENCE DAY

Happy Independence Day! What am I free from? How am I independent? As an American I am free to pursue life - the way I choose to, liberty from any and all things I consider  my oppressor, and I am free to pursue that which makes me happy. Happiness is a subjective term, since we know not what lies behind "the skin" of a (wo)man, happiness is what meets me THERE.

I am free to pursue life and living. There is a difference you know. I am alive, because I am breathing. But am I living? That is, living the life I desire to be? For today, I'm happy to be independent and interdependent. But not dependent or codependent. I'm happy to be God's woman. My life "has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue". I am not the girl I once was. My thoughts have developed past the rigid lines they once followed. I have become wise in ways I was unaware of. The interesting thing is, my values have not changed. I still love my God, and I love my family. There is a new addition to my family in recent times - Me. I have learned how to love myself. I have come to realize, acknowledge, trust in the truth, and believe that I am relevant, purposeful, interesting, and valuable. Not only to myself, but to others. But, mostly to myself - and my God.

I am free to pursue my liberty. I am a liberated child of God. I have opportunities that have been set aside for me. Just for me. I am free to pursue them - or not, even. No longer do I have a crown of thorns on my head, allowed to be there - mashed into my skull forcing me to remain in pain and bondage to that which holds me captive, whether thought, feeling, perception or reality. I am a liberated (wo)man. A liberated human being. No longer captive, but now captivated by my hopes and dreams, choices and decisions, future opportunities and present pallet of colors, sounds and smells of life all around me.

Note to self: May I act in courage to actively pursue them from time to time :-)

As a unique and precious creation, I am free to pursue what makes me happy. Even deeper, I am free to define what h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s means for me. I am free to define my own "scale of well being" with my own gauges, ticks and pendulum. My gratitude of this awareness and opportunity keeps me grounded and connected to what I value. It causes me to create boundaries of safety and respect - first to myself and second to my neighbor, whomever that may be.

Writing brings me happiness, I am free to pursue writing.
Ask yourself, "What makes me happy?" Now, go pursue it!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO YOU MY FRIEND!

Ehh. Fear I guess.

So, I'm trying new things. Blogging is my latest venture. I've been a writer for quite a number of years. So, why have I not ventured into the cyber world? Ehhh. Fear I guess.  I launched a book campaign to publish a remarkable story that teaches humanity about itself. Unconditional love, it reads, no matter how you look at it, that's what life is about. How well do we love each other here on earth? What will become of this life we live, if at the end of our days, we are asked about it? In thinking on that, why is it that some people I love easily and others I don't? Ehhh. Fear I guess. I recently met up with a young person whom I have known all her life. We've been out of touch for many years. I just happened to be at the right place and the right time.....alas, there she was. We had a nice little visit. Short, but nice. She said she was glad to catch up and that it had bee a rough couple of years for her. I concurred, it's been a rough couple of years. Why have we had a rough couple of years? Why did we not move away from what was causing us grief sooner? Ehhh. Fear I guess.

Fear. A remarkable thing really. It is a power like none other. Fear is a catalyst in who we are, where we are, when we are and why we are. So, if it is so powerful, why do we not harness the power more confidently? Ehhh. Fear I guess. Fear of what? Failure? Success? Exposure? Truth? Boy, we humans are interesting creatures. Let's talk a minute about the things we can achieve by harnessing our fear, owning our fear, becoming aware of our fear. To begin, we need to work in reverse, first becoming aware of our fear. To do this, spend time in your present. Look, listen, smell, touch. Where you are now, this very moment. Become aware. Selah. Next, own your fear. Take it into you as a tangible object. Drink and eat as if it is nourishment to your body. Because owning your fear is, in fact, nourishment to you soul. For when we own our fear we learn to control our thought patterns around it. We can change our thinking based upon our awareness. Human sensibility  causes us to act based upon what we know. When we know better, we do better. It's natural. When you are aware of your fear, and take responsibility to own it, you are empowered to harness the energy it creates. Now that, that is where the true testament comes. Creativity is born of harnessed energy. Creation is born of creativity. Therefore, energy harnessed out of awareness and ownership of one's fear, will birth creation of new habits. New habits form a new beginning. A new beginning paves the road of a new life.

Now I am not only an Author, I am a Blogger. Fear harnessed and owned. A new beginning. How did I become a blogger? Ehhh. Fear I guess.